Prophecies Of Lostradamus

On the way back from a stag last weekend, my mate Ben met a sage aboard the train who proffered a few words of advice to the groom.

I've done my best to transcribe.

'I've only met you tonight. Seriously. Have a good wedding. 


Does anyone support Chelsea.

Make sure he fucks a brass tonight.

He's got the same dick for the rest of his life.

I mean the same fanny.

Make sure he fucks a brass.

(does a massive imaginary line of coke)

to his mate: He's getting married tomorrow.

(walking up the carriage) Any fanny up here?


Apparently some guy kicked the crap out of him on the platform at Euston for harassing his bird.

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