Prophecies Of Lostradamus



On the way back from a stag last weekend, my mate Ben met a sage aboard the train who proffered a few words of advice to the groom.







I've done my best to transcribe.


'I've only met you tonight. Seriously. Have a good wedding. 

Seriously.

Does anyone support Chelsea.

Make sure he fucks a brass tonight.

He's got the same dick for the rest of his life.

I mean the same fanny.

Make sure he fucks a brass.


(does a massive imaginary line of coke)


to his mate: He's getting married tomorrow.


(walking up the carriage) Any fanny up here?



*



Apparently some guy kicked the crap out of him on the platform at Euston for harassing his bird.





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