Shit That's Not Dope About Having A Girlfriend part 1

Welcome to a new part of the blog. In this section i will attempt to outline the various instances when it springs to mind that being single might be a superior way to roll.

number 1

The Loo Seat Thing

When i first entered the perilous realm of the longterm relationship, way before it could be considered longterm, i got so much heat for not putting the seat down after taking a piss that it instilled in me this fear of God which haunted me every time i was in the vicinity of a bathroom.

Now as a result, leaving the seat down has become a reflex action. Which is great for my girlfriend. 

But the problem arises when my reflex action acts itself out in the men's toilets at my office. Because there, me dutifully lowering the seat for my non-existent girlfriend after taking a slash means every time i bust out of the gents people assume i've just taken a massive dump. And so circumstantial evidence tells them every time i go to the loo - period - is to lay a biggie. Which means my office cred is shattered and they all think i've got serious bowl malfunctions.

It's at times like this that i wish i was single.

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