Thursday, 29 January 2015

Pooop




I can dig.






You could extend the metaphor to factor in immodium but we'd be here all night.



*



Went on lunch and thought about it.



Immodium represents a hundred mili plus in the bank.









So Many Trips



This weekend we are going here. 



On bikes motherfuckers. To make memories motherfuckers.







Here's our last trip. 








We spent the whole weekend on acid. So it was more like a trip on a trip.



*


No we didn't. Would've been cool though. Not the acid bit, fuck would i know i've never taken acid. But it would've been cool being asked what you did at the weekend and replying all-nonchalant funny you should ask, i spent a large part of the weekend on a massive trip on a massive trip.



Wednesday, 28 January 2015

JayElecHannukah







Good question. 



It's almost like he doesn't want you to know. Real name Timothy Elpadaro Thedford, Jay Electronica has spent over a decade dropping some of the most outrageous fire the rap game has ever seen, and no that is not an exaggeration. The greats are fawning all over him. 



'Him as a lyricist is almost scary. He's scary good.' Jay-Z



'I think he is the future' Q-tip



'He does him man. He got that shit where, you know, shit just sound like music. He stands apart.' Nas




You can't get bigger praise than that. Pretty happy Jay?








Thought so. 




So release a MOTHERFUCKING ALBUM MOTHERFUCKER. In ten years he hasn't released more than two official singles and a string of undoubtedly brilliant bootleg tunes you can just about find on youtube.








Don't look at me like that.



There was even a campaign on reddit, where someone got hold of Nas and implored him to convince the enigmatic lyrical-fire-kindler to drop an album. Nas responded.







But no love. Perhaps because Jay Elec, born into the infamously mean Magnolia housing estates in New Orleans and a closet Downton Abbey obsessive, has been busy working his way into the realms of the English High Society. He sparked the breakup of one of Britain's most high-powered couples Alice Rothschild and Ben Goldsmith, by having an affair with her.








But yeah, it's Jay Elec's music that does the talking. If you've never heard it, wrap your ears around this.



Exhibit A







You cannot get heavier than his first verse:


I spit that Wonderama shit
 Me and my conglomerates shall remain anonymous
Caught up in the finest shit
 I get that type of media-coverage Obama get 
Spit that Kurt Voneggut
That blow yo brain Kurt Cobain, that Nirvana shit



and....



Exhibit C







The beginning of the third verse on 3:05 is hernia-inducing.


They call me Jay Electronica - fuck that
Call me JayElecHannukah, Jay ElecYarmulke
JayElecRamadaan, Muhammad A'salaamaleikum
RasoulAllah Subhanahu wa ta'ala through your monitor
My uzi still weighs a ton check the barometer
I'm hotter than the motherfucking sun check the thermometer




F I R E





I'm convinced even R Kelly would ditch all plans for the after-party (the one going on after the show) and blast his stretch-navigator straight to wherever the fuck Jay was at, if he ever decided to play live & direct yo. Kelly never gonna pass up an opp to bust out some moves.








Luckily for us and R, turns out Jay is playing his first London gig for five years on 14th March, at Koko. 




And tickets go on sale at 10am TODAY.






Link here.




Time To Kick Back




Having worked in an office for all of two months, this has taken on a whole new meaning.








Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Cough Medicine



With the cold weather unrelenting, and woe betide another icy front moving in across the horizon, it's no stretch of the imagination to assume some of us might be taking the next HS2 service direct to...



S n i v e l   C e n t r a l



But don't fear. There's an answer.







Not those tunes, friends.



Tunes like this.








Monday, 26 January 2015

Too Many Salt Beef Bagles




Just classic, classic shit from the mind of the Fat Jewish.